Attachment is a reciprocal process
by which an emotional connection
develops between an infant and his/her primary caregiver. It influences
the child’s
physical, neurological, cognitive, and psychological development. It
becomes the basis for
development of basic trust or mistrust, and shapes how the child will
relate to the world,
learn, and form relationships throughout life. Healthy attachment occurs
when the infant
experiences a primary caregiver as consistently providing emotional
nurturing such as
touch, movement, eye contact and loving interaction in addition to the
basic physical
nurturing of food, shelter, and clothing. If this process is disrupted
fear and
uncertainty replace the foundation of trust and security of well-being
that is necessary
to support normal social development.
Children with attachment disorders
often project an image of
self-sufficiency and charm while masking inner feelings of insecurity
and self hate.
Infantile fear, hurt and anger are expressed in disturbing behaviors
that serve to keep
caregivers at a distance and perpetuate the child’s belief that s/he is
unlovable.
Lessons of cause and effect come slowly for children with poor
attachment. Such children
often do not respond well to traditional parenting or therapy since both
rely on the
child’s ability to form relationships, and to internalize the parents
and their
values. Parents, confronted with their children's unacceptable behavior,
react
emotionally, creating an intense, but unsatisfying connection between
adult and child.
Therapy and parenting that utilize the elements of basic attachment have
been found to be
more helpful. A more directive approach using nurturing touch, eye
contact, and physical
and emotional closeness can provide a corrective emotional experience
and create a
foundation for a healthier attachment between child and parent.
Educationally, children with
attachment difficulties often show
signs of learning problems such as disabilities and delays. Their
parents and teachers may
catch them in chronic lying, cheating or stealing patterns. They may be
destructive to
themselves or others, cruel to animals, or preoccupied with disturbing
or violent play
themes. Often, they don't get along well with their peers.
Common
Causes of Attachment Problems
(Highest risk if occurring within the first few years of life.)
a. Sudden or traumatic separation from primary
caretaker (through death, illness, hospitalization of caretaker, or
removal of child)
b. Physical,
emotional, or sexual abuse
c. Neglect
d. Hospitalization,
chronic illness, or invasive or painful medical
procedures which cannot be alleviated by caretaker
e. Frequent
life changes or transitions: multiple moves, caretakers,
and/or placements
f. Inconsistent
or inadequate nurturing from primary caregivers
g. Chronic
depression of primary caretaker
h. Medical/neurological
disabilities which interfere with cognitive
perception of or physical ability to receive nurturing
i. Prenatal
alcohol or drug exposure
Social
Developmental Concerns with Attachment Disorders
(1) Fixation in Early Psychosexual
Development:
May demonstrate traits of "oral
stage" fixation
a.
Smoking
b.
Constant chewing on gum, pens, pencils, etc.
c.
Nail biting
d.
Overeating or Drinking
e.
Sarcasm
f.
Verbal hostility
May demonstrate traits of "anal
stage" fixation
a. Anal-Expulsive
Personality: Deriving pleasure and success
from immediate self gratification. Individuals with a fixation
on this mode of
gratification are excessively irresponsible, non-conforming,
insatiable, distractible,
disorganized, reckless, careless, defiant and self
injurious/destructive (ie excessive
piercing, tattooing, risk taking, etc.).
b. Anal-Retentive
Personality: Deriving pleasure and success
from planned and predictable perfection and order. Individuals
who fail to progress pass
this stage are obsessively clean and organized and intolerant of
those who aren’t.
They may also be excessively cautious, stingy, intolerant,
prejudiced, obstinate,
meticulous, conforming and passive-aggressive.
(2) Fixation in Early Psychosocial
Development
May demonstrate traits of unresolved
"Trust vs. Mistrust"
a.
Distrustful of social interaction
b.
Cynical of others efforts/suggestions
c.
Wary of new situations/environments
d.
Inappropriately suspicious or paranoid
e.
Insecure
f.
Pessimistic
g.
Defeatist outlook on life
May demonstrate traits of unresolved
"Autonomy vs. Shame:"
a.
Stubborn
b.
Intolerant to change
c.
Inappropriately jealous of others possessions and or achievement
to the extent of chronic stealing, shoplifting, etc.
d.
Explosive and angry at perceived bias
e.
Easily embarrassed
f. Inappropriate or excessive emotional
response to perceived personal failure
g.
Excessive avoidance of personal failure to the extent of chronic
lying, cheating, etc..
Fixation in Early Moral
Development:.
Delays in Pre-conventional Stage 2 development
result in self interest orientation to behavior: interest in the
needs of others only
extends to the benefit or furthering of one's own interests.
Fixation in Early Cognitive
Development:
Delays in Sensory Motor and
Pre-Operational thought development result in self-oriented, and
egocentric thought
patterns: only able to view the world from a personal (first person)
perspective, and
engaging in repetitive self gratifying behavior patterns.
Behaviors
Associated with Attachment Disorders
(1) Unable to engage in
satisfying reciprocal relationship:
a. Superficially engaging and/or charming
b. Unable
or unwilling to maintain eye contact
c. Indiscriminately
affectionate with strangers
d. Unable
or unwilling to give and receive affection on parents' terms
e. Inappropriately
demanding and clingy
f. Persistent
attention getting behaviors such as nonsense questions
and incessant chatter
g. Unable
or unwilling to maintain appropriate peer relationships
h. Low
self esteem
i. Significant impulse control problems
j. May
attempt manipulate adults with deception
k. Chronic
stealing/cheating/lying
l. Destructive
to self, others, property
m. Cruel
to animals
n. Preoccupied
with fire, blood, and gore
(2) Disorganized or inappropriate
cause and effect thinking:
a. Difficulty learning from mistakes
b. Learning
problems - disabilities, delays
c. May
demonstrate excessively disruptive behaviors as attention
getting or task avoidance technique
d. May
target peers who under-perform academically in retaliation for
teacher assistance
e. May
target peers who outperform academically in retaliation for
teacher praise
(3) "Negative attachment cycle"
in family
a. Child engages in negative behaviors that
can't be ignored
b. Parent
reacts with strong emotion, creating intense but unsatisfying
connection
c. Parent
and child are unable to create or maintain a loving
connection